What new parent would complain about changing a diaper? What parent does not expect a wet one or a “poopy” one? And, if babies don’t have a dirty diapers something is wrong and a possible call to the doctor is in order!
So, why do parents expect teens to not have “issues”? Really? Isn’t becoming an adult exactly what teens are doing? This becoming has to have “issues”!
Why are adults surprised when an “issue” just like a dirty diaper shows up? What are kids supposed to do to get the help they need to move through the confusion and “issues” of their teen years? Working with kids has clued me into some of their struggles. I call them their little, sometimes big, secrets. Adults either don’t know about their kid’s lives or are afraid to face a kid’s “issue”…which is about as helpful as not changing a dirty diaper!
Let me give you some clues to a few well kept “little secrets” with the following questions:
Did you know kids are scared….nervous…anxiety ridden?
(Although they may come off as aloof and arrogant.)
Did you know that many kids use marijuana to calm down by self-medication?
(Although they act li8ke they are just making a statement bout their freedom.)
Did you know that cutting can be a form of controlling the global pain kids are over whelmed with?
(Although they may be acting like they’ve got life figured out.)
Did you know that many kids are sexually active from the age of 12?
(Although they know very little about sexuality or when a girl can get pregnant.)
Did you know that kids don’t have anyone they feel they can talk to?
(Although they may never be alone.)
Did you know that both young men and women weep deeply, like little children, when someone listens to them with openness and non-judgment?
(Although they often act like they don’t need anyone to know their inner thoughts or feelings.)
Kids, teens, and adolescents need help just like young children who are in diaper. These teen-age years are critical times of transition. Unfortunately these years evoke fear because many parents, grandparents, and teachers feel inadequate to address the “issues” teens face. No one either wants to or can help with the “issues”, like dirty diapers, that teens are dealing with.
The counselor brings a new perspective to the teen and his/her family in facing the “issues” that seem so insurmountable that they cannot even be admitted to. The counselor is not “fixing” a teen or the family of a teen but rather is there to offer techniques in communication and insight so that the teen and his/her family may be able to creatively work through the ”Issues” being offered to the family by this teen who is both challenging and challenged.
The family, as well as the teen, is needing to arrive at balance in order to be more functional.
Just as dirty diapers keep showing up with young children ” issues” are repetitive, challenging occurrences that keeping showing up in the life of teens and their families.
Let me help you look at the needs of you family and teen in a effort to bring your family together with skills that offer the possibility of harmony and balance.